


The Wind Beneath My Wings

by mihomi98



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Motorcycles, Mutual Pining, Picnic, Pining Castiel, Pining Dean, Post-Episode: s13e01 Lost and Found, Post-Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 02:45:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12379269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihomi98/pseuds/mihomi98
Summary: Castiel was going to die.There was no way around it. His heart was racing, his palms were sweating, and his tongue felt thick in his mouth. He couldn’t catch his breath, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the impending feeling of doom coursing through his veins. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself down, running through all kinds of different situations in his head to make the journey to the other side more enjoyable.No matter how hard he resisted, however, he couldn’t help but give in when he saw the dopey smile that had spread across Dean’s cheeks when he found a motorcycle in the far back corner of the bunker’s garage.





	The Wind Beneath My Wings

Castiel was going to die.

There was no way around it. His heart was racing, his palms were sweating, and his tongue felt thick in his mouth. He couldn’t catch his breath, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the impending feeling of doom coursing through his veins. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm himself down, running through all kinds of different situations in his head to make the journey to the other side more enjoyable.

No matter how hard he resisted, however, he couldn’t help but give in when he saw the dopey smile that had spread across Dean’s cheeks when he found a motorcycle in the far back corner of the bunker’s garage. _Come on, Cas, I’ll be fun,_ Dean had insisted, tapping Castiel gently on the shoulder before reaching down and grabbing his wrist, dragging him over to the bike. _I haven’t been on a bike in years. I promise, Cas, you’ll love it._

Twenty minutes into the ride, and Castiel knew that Dean was a dirty liar. There was _nothing_ fun about this. His helmet kept slipping back and getting caught on the hood of his jacket, and the safety glasses that Dean insisted Castiel wear was rubbing the wrong way across the bridge of his nose.

Castiel squeezed his eyes shut and clenched the side of Dean’s jacket, which he had been holding onto whenever he felt like there was a chance the he would fall of (a constant worry that kicked in the moment that Dean decided to fly down the highway). He pulled the jacket towards himself, pressing his shoulders more firmly against the back of the seat.

Dean chuckled as he went around a particularly sharp turn, moving one of his hands off the handlebar to squeeze Castiel’s fingers. “Are you okay back there?”

“I’m fine, Dean,” Castiel responded, his voice tight and his grip tightening even more.

“You sure? We can go back if you want. I can put everything in the saddle bags back into Baby’s trunk.”

Castiel hesitated before shaking his head. The moment that Castiel had agreed to go for a ride, Dean’s face had lit up and he had packed an entire bag full of food before Castiel could even get his shoes on. Ever since Casiel had come back as human again six months ago, Dean had taken to packing picnics for the two of them. They had gone  all around Kansas during their off periods and along the road during hunts, both men very much enjoying the time that they were spending together in the great outdoors. Sam and Jack would tag along sometimes, too, although Jack always ended up far more interested in the wildlife and foliage that he found in the parks and fields than he did about the meals. Castiel enjoyed having all of Team Freewill and his son together, but his favorite of the picnics were just with Dean.

Castiel let out a whimper when Dean clipped a curb, tipping the bike until it was nearly parallel with the road. Dean moved his hand to hold on to Castiel’s knee encouragingly. “We’re almost there, Cas. I’m getting off at the next exit. You’ll be fine on side-streets, right? No more panicking?”

Castiel cleared his throat, his voice coming out in a squeak. “I’m fine,” he said again, gritting his teeth and preparing himself for the descending exit ramp. Flying down the freeway was terrifying, but seeing how the nose of the bike raced towards the base shook him down to his very bones.

Dean kept his hand on Castiel’s knee the entire way down. He let go as he turned on the main road. Castiel took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down, hesitating before resting his forehead against Dean’s shoulder and wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist, resting his interlaced fingers against Dean’s stomach. As he breathed in through his nose, he was overwhelmed with the strong smell of wood and of Dean’s cologne. His heart began to race again, only this time, it was for an entirely different reason.

Castiel had known for years that he was in love with Dean, but it wasn’t until Jack had brought him back that he understood the intensity of his bond with the eldest Winchester. His feeling had been present before Lucifer separated his ribs, but his grace diluted the feelings enough that he could, the majority of the time, ignore his urges and his desires. Now, though, with Dean’s scent all around him and the feeling of solid muscles beneath his hands, all Castiel could think about was how crazy he was for this beautiful man in his arms.

_***_

Dean grit his teeth and tried to keep his breathing slow as he felt the tip of Castiel’s pinky brush the skin right beneath the hem of his dark-gray Henley. He was excited enough from the ride as it was with focusing on the sparks of arousal shooting through his veins every time Castiel so much as even _grazed_ Dean’s skin.

The park was only a few minutes away from the freeway, but it felt like the road was both never ending  and much too short as he tried to push down the blush that he knew was burning along his cheeks and his ears. He loved the feeling of Castiel pressed against him, his warm breath shooting out in small puffs against the back of Dean’s neck and his strong arms making Dean feel completely safe and loved.

Dean turned down the road that led into the park and slid into a spot, stopping the bike and fiddling with the keys until he felt Castiel untangle himself from around Dean’s body. He immediately felt cold and longed to be held again, the teasing ghost of Castiel’s hands zapping the warmth away. Regardless, even just a few seconds of being close to Castiel was worth more than anything.

_If today goes the way it should, this will happen a lot more often_ , Dean reminded himself, the butterflies in his stomach exploding as he reached down into the saddlebag and pulled out all of Castiel’s favorites for lunch: PB&J sandwiches, nacho-cheese Doritos, and German honey cookies that he had made from scratch. He had gotten an assortment of sodas at the grocery store (Castiel’s favorite flavor seemed to vary by the minute) and had even thrown in a few different types of dollar-candies that he had found on their Wendigo hunt in South Dakota a few weeks back.

Castiel climbed off the motorcycle on shaky legs, taking the helmet and glasses off and putting them on the seat behind Dean. He lifted his hands and pulled at his hair, running his fingers through the strands and rubbing at his scalp. Dean watched him with a small smile, getting off the bike and putting his own helmet next to Castiel’s.

Castiel pulled at his hair a few more times before looking at Dean, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sure that helmet has made my hair a mess,” he commented sheepishly, biting his lip and dropping his arms down to his side as Dean started to walk down a narrow walking path through the woods.

Dean’s stomach tightened as he glanced at Cas, tightening his grip on the food containers. “You look great, Cas,” he said softly, swallowing when one of Castiel’s curls decided to flip up. He resisted the urge to reach out and fix it, quickening his steps so that they would reach the prime picnic spot quicker. Relaxing with Castiel and sharing a meal with him had always been one of his favorite things to do, but Dean had known for weeks that this was going to be the day that he admitted what he really felt, so he was more than just a little bit anxious to get through the meal and see what Castiel had to say.

Dean had known for quite some time that there was something more than friendship between Castiel and him, but it wasn’t until he watched the grace burst out of Castiel’s vessel that he realized just how deep his feelings ran. He had been completely heart-broken, unable to eat, sleep, or go on hunts for the solid month in between the end of Castiel’s life and when he came back. He left Sam alone to take care of Jack, and no matter how much Jack tried to prove his innocence and his kindness to Dean (Dean could specifically remember a time when Sam went out for a quick salt-and-burn and left Jack at the bunker, and Jack had tried to make Dean dinner to “cheer him up”), he couldn’t help but hate the boy. Every time he looked at him he saw the outline of Castiel’s wings all along the ground, the way that his body had gone up in smoke on the pyre—it made his chest ache and broke his heart more and more.

 As Jack grew stronger, however, he tried more and more to get into Dean’s good graces. In fact, it was him that brought Castiel back, vessel and all. Sam and Dean had both tried to figure out what exactly it was that Jack did, but even the boy couldn’t explain how he rebuilt the man from ash. He and Dean had gotten into an argument on a chilly fall evening, during which Dean had let Jack know _exactly_ what he thought of him. Jack became so emotional that he managed to make almost every light in the bunker explode, so Dean grabbed his gun and his keys and took off for the city, stopping by the hardware store to get new bulbs before making his way to a motel for the night.

Dean dragged himself back to the bunker late the next evening after going on a particularly nasty bender, tears continuously leaking down his cheeks as his mind spun with memories. He got back after Sam and Jack had already gone to bed, “seeing” his way around down the halls towards his room with his hands. He pushed open his door and kicked his shoes off, rubbing his hand along the wall until he found he light switch.

When the single intact bulb fired up, Dean froze in his tracks. There, curled up in his bed and clutching one of Dean’s flannel shirts, was Castiel, his hair longer than Dean was used to and his skin smooth and supple, free of all of the scars that he had acquired over the years he had been using Jimmy as his vessel.

Dean had spent the rest of the night perched on his desk, his eyes locked on Castiel. He kept track of his breaths and the way that he moved, desperately praying that this wasn’t some sort of dream or hallucination. He wouldn’t be able to survive if this wasn’t real.

“Dean?”

Dean shook his head and pulled himself back to the present, glancing up at Castiel, who was looking at him with concern. During Dean’s daydream, he managed to get everything spread out on the blanket and had pulled Castiel down next to him, their fingers still interlaced as they began to pick at their food.

 

***

 

Castiel rubbed his thumb in circles along the back of Dean’s hand, grabbing one of the sandwiches and nibbling on a corner of it as he looked at Dean. Dean’s eyes were glassy and he was not blinking, the hand not holding Castiel’s gripping the sandwich so tightly that the jelly was beginning to ooze over his fingers.

“Dean?”

Dean startled and turned to look towards Castiel. “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

Dean looked down at the his hand, staring at the oozing mass for a moment before putting it down on the blanket and using a napkin to clean his hand. He gripped Castiel’s hand tightly, grabbing one of the sodas and taking a long gulp before turning back to Castiel. “Uhm, Cas . . . I need to talk to you about something.”

Castiel’s stomach plummeted, and he rocked back onto his tail bone before removing his hand from Dean’s. Dean looked hurt for a moment before he looked down at his food, clearing his throat.

After a few seconds of waiting for Castiel to speak, Castiel cracked. He couldn’t take the silence after those words again, not when every other time Dean “needed to talk” to him led to him feeling alone and unwanted. What if Dean was kicking him out again, and this park was where he was planning on ditching him? “What’s wrong, Dean? Did I . . . did I do something wrong?” He bit his lip.

Dean’s eyes widened and he swerved around to face Castiel. He reached across the blanket and took Castiel’s hand again. “I promise you, Cas, you haven’t  done anything wrong. I just wanted to . . . I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.” He tried to pull his hand away again, just in case, but Dean wouldn’t let him. He wrapped his other hand around the back of Castiel’s hand and lifted it up to his mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles.

Castiel’s cheeks went up in flames, and all the moisture rushed from Castiel’s mouth when Dean scooted closer towards him. He leaned in slightly, desperately hoping that the kisses Dean was placing on his knuckles was an indication of what Dean wanted. The closer that they moved together, the more desperate Castiel was to kiss him.

Dean, too, seemed to be in the same position. When he had moved so far over that his thigh was flush with Castiel’s, he moved his freehand up to cup Castiel’s cheek, leaning forward slightly and pressing their foreheads together. “Please, _please_ tell me that I can kiss you, Cas. I’m going crazy here.”

Castiel surged forward and kissed Dean before he fully even processed what it was that the man had said. He rocked up onto his knees and leaned in, putting both of his hands on either side of Dean’s face and kissing him hard. Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel’s waist and pulled him onto his legs, moving him until he was straddling Dean’s lap.

Castiel pulled back after several minutes, feeling slightly out of breath as he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him in for a hug. Dean hugged him close and buried his face into Castiel’s neck, mumbling something as Castiel adjusted how they were sitting so now _Dean_ was the one straddling Castiel’s lap. Castiel tried to catch what Dean said, but he was took quiet. “I’m sorry?”

Dean lifted his head and looked Castiel in the eyes. “I’m in love with you, Cas. I’ve loved you for longer than I can remember.”

A bomb could have gone off next to Castiel and Dean and Castiel wouldn’t have noticed, joy filling every single one of his cells and making him feel like he still had his wings. “I love you too, Dean, so, so, so, _so_ much.” He kissed him again, letting out a gentle laugh when he felt how much Dan’s hands were trembling when he pressed them against Castiel’s back. “Are you cold, Dean?”

Dean shook his head, moving to place a few kisses on the hollow of Castiel’s neck. “I’m just happy, sunshine. I’m so, so happy.” He let out a breath, shaking his head. “I had hoped that you loved me back, but I couldn’t be certain.” He sat up fully and glanced at the food around them, suddenly feeling exhausted as the great weight of his feelings fell off his shoulders.

Castiel kissed Dean’s cheek. “What are you looking at?” He reached down and took one of the honey cookies, shoving most of it in his mouth at once. Dean made a disgusted face before putting his hand on Castiel’s shoulder and rubbing at it gently.

“What do you say we put the food away for now and take a nap? I just . . . I want to hold you, Cas. It doesn’t have to turn into anything else, but you’ve done so much to protect me over the last nine years—I just want to do the same for you. I want to make you feel loved and protected.”

A feeling of warmth rushed through Castiel’s body, and he couldn’t help but smile as he leaned in and gave Dean another kiss before pushing Dean down gently, slouching down next to him and adjusting their positions so that Dean was on his back and Castiel was resting against his chest. “Are you sure it’s safe for us to nap here?” Castiel asked, yawning as his own wave of fatigue washed over him. He let out a content noise as Dean dropped a kiss against the top of his head.

“We are right by the bunker, Cas. Trust me, we are plenty safe here.” He moved one hand up to cup Castiel’s shoulder and the other one to pull the man closer to his chest. “I was going to just come straight here on our drive, but—you were just so close to me, I didn’t want it to stop. I wanted you pressed against me.”

Castiel smirked. “Was that your true intention for dragging me out there? I thought it was just another ‘human experience’,” he teased, humming when Dean reached around him and grabbed another blanket out of his pack. He threw it over their bodies and adjusted their position until they were both comfortable.

“Get some sleep, Cas, and I’ll be here when you wake up,” Dean promised, running his fingers up and down Castiel’s right bicep. “I’ll be here forever. You’re . . . you’re it for me, Cas. I know that might sound scary, but . . . ” he trailed off shaking his head. He lifted the arm that had been over Castiel and used it as a pillow. “I love you.”

Castiel barely returned the sentiment before he was fast asleep.


End file.
